He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
