Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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