u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Randomize
