just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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