dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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