I'm laying in your front yard are you home
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Its about making memories worth repressing
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
