If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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