You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
