This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
