his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
