We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
