we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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