Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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