I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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