Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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