She's JV to your varsity
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize