I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Im part way to drunk.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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