I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
