Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
