you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
