I would go down on you faster than GM stock
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
