i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
4 words: hood of his car
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
