Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
It's never too late to be topless.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
