I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
