i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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