all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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