I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize