I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
