thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
