It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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