I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
