I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
