At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
