i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Randomize
