why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
