I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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