ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
