If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
