# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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