Well apparently he's into motor boating.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize