I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
