I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
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