toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
