just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
