i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
