Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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