There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
