My nipple is on Facebook.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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