So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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