At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
My vagina just clenched in fear
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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