Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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