for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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