whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
