I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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