Your tits are I can't wait for
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
