We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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