don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
