I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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