that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
My feet surprised me
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