I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
