my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
So much Jack, so little girl.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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