Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
